📦 The 'sorry we missed you' parcel card
The card says they knocked.
The card says they knocked.
You were in.
You sat there all day like a hostage with one ear on the door. Make the courier confess it never knocked and apologise.
🚚 Catch the courier
Times missed
0
Cards dropped
0
Doorbells answered
0
📦 The verdict
📦 You were in
📦 The courier confesses:
...
Actually
0 seconds at your door
Felt like
12 hours of unpaid house arrest
- ›Delivery window: 8am to 8pm, served in full
- ›Attempted deliveries: 1. People home at the time: also 1
- ›Doorbells rung: 0. Doorbells you tested twice: 1
- ›Safe place promised: yes. Safe place delivered: the bin, in the rain
Certificate of confirmed presence
You were in.
Hours you waited in12
Times they knocked0
'Safe place'the bin, in the rain
File no.PR-000000
Datetoday
Hereby cleared of all charges of not being there.
Presence confirmed ✓
Still no parcel. New plan.
We can't get your parcel back. But we can get you a table of new friends. Join the dinner club at kf.social.
🍝 Join the dinner clubThe 'sorry we missed you' files
Why do couriers say 'sorry we missed you' when I was home? +
Tight delivery quotas. If a driver is running late, marking a parcel 'attempted' can be faster than actually delivering it. The card is quicker to write than the knock is to make.
What does 'left in a safe place' actually mean? +
Officially, somewhere secure and out of sight. In practice it can mean a bin, a hedge, or three doors down with a stranger. Always photograph where yours ends up.
Can I complain if a delivery was marked attempted but I was in? +
Yes. Report it to the retailer and the carrier, note the date and time, and ask for proof of the attempt. You are well within your rights to push back.
Who made You Were In? +
People who have waited in for a great many parcels, at kf.social. It is a parody, not a real courier.