🔧 Check EngineThe Diagnosis
🔧 Car maintenance

Your car is making a noise.
That'll be £900.

A knock, a grind, and a dashboard lit up like a fruit machine. Diagnose the noise, survive the garage quote, and make the car confess what is actually wrong.

🔧 Big job, that

🚗 The car confesses:
Actually
1 noise in, £900 quote out
Felt like
your wallet making the noise now
Official garage invoice
Big job, that.
You came in for1 noise
We found6 problems
'While we were in there'3 extras
File no.MOT-000000
Date--
Final total: £900. The car has confessed. The MOT, by the way, is due.
Big job ✓
🍝

We can't fix your car. But we can get you a table of new friends who give lifts. Join the dinner club at kf.social.

🍝 Join the dinner club

The bit that is genuinely useful

Real answers, between the jokes. Your wallet says thank you.

What does the check engine light actually mean?
It is a general warning that the engine management system has spotted a fault, from something minor like a loose fuel cap to something serious. Get the fault code read, often free at a parts shop, before assuming the worst.
Why is my car making a knocking noise?
Knocks can come from worn suspension, low oil, or engine issues, and they tend to get more expensive the longer you ignore them. A noise that changes with speed or steering is worth checking quickly.
How do I avoid being overcharged at a garage?
Get the fault diagnosed, ask for a written quote, question any 'while we were in there' extras, and get a second opinion for big jobs. You are allowed to say no to anything that is not safety critical.
How often should I service my car?
Follow the manufacturer's schedule, usually once a year or every set number of miles, and check oil, tyres, and fluids in between. Small regular checks are far cheaper than the noise you are currently ignoring.
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